insightful 5 ams..

Well I have just finished what I hope to be my best painting ever...whether it is or not, I certainly think I tried pretty hard. I think one thing I've learned from creating art is the idea of perseverance and commitment. Each piece of art you do, is a struggle, an effort for you to communicate an idea, feeling or image to a viewer. If you think about it, there's almost a million choices you make when making something...from its conceptual idea, to choosing the composition, to colors and so on. Most people can't even begin to understand what you've put into your work when just glancing at it. I know I'm a pretty indecisive person at times, just thinking about the vast array of choices to choose from...it never seems like I have enough time to do everything I'd love to. And once choosing something, it evolves so much from the way you first conceived it.


I guess in a sense, art is like a challenge for me. I know there's lots of artists that have worked their whole life doing the same sort of art, for example Fred Sandback in one of Amy's post or that women who drew lines her whole life. Personally I would probably feel bored or tired of the same thing after years and years...but perhaps to them its more of a continuous struggle to perfection. I guess one reason I'm up at this hour and didn't go 'fuck this' and go to bed is that unfortunately I'm one of my biggest critics and sadly a perfectionist...which is my own worst enemy at times. Whether my work is appreciated by others or not, I've realized that I'm only satisfied with any of my work if I've felt that I've at least tried my best (and it could probably still suck). One thing I admire about many artists is that despite all the challenges they face and instances when you just wanna trash your canvas (and i've done it many times before), is that they suck it up, get back to it and try to see how they can conquer it from a different angle.


I was looking through old files and I found a sequence drawing I had done in high school, where one weekend I had sat on the beach and just drew the way in which formed. I guess I must have really got into it there, because I don't think I could have the patience now to do this same piece.





Its weird how I decided to do something about the beach again for my sequence painting...I didn't consciously think of them being connected until after I started doing our paintings in class last week. I guess the beach has always been that place for me to go and sit there, perhaps even at 5 am...to just think over things in my head.

Well I think its time i try to get some sleep so i can stay awake through class tomorrow.
Goodnight.